Thursday, June 21, 2007

Quick and Easy Recipes

Carp Taco

- 1 Carp
- 1 Tortilla, made

1. Take carp out of river.
2. Gently murder carp.
3. Place in tortilla.

Serves: 1-2 comically small children.

Jungle Surprise

- 30 Acres Virgin Rain Forest
- 1 Land Rover (shelled)
- 125lbs. Surly Zoa Shaman
- 1 Large Bucket

1. Pick rainforest.
2. Learn heathen tongue (usually an earthy patois of "jungalese" and "voodoo mumbles-jumbles").
3. Earn trust of tribe. If you arrive during eclipse, promise to return Magic Fire Ball to Big Blue Spirit Blanket.
4. Touch not the idol of Chicomecoatl. Doing so will unleash the Curse of the Seven Snakes.
5. When Blood-Moon waxes nigh, place self into bucket. Heat 400 degrees for 6-8 hours, or until dead.

Serves: whim of council elders.


- 1 oz. Dirt

1. Heat and enjoy.
2. Or, more likely, don't.

Serves: seriously?